Our church boundary lines changed the week Caleb was born, so I've never been to church with this group of people. It turns out there were six baby boys born in this ward (our church group) in the month of December and they're all within a couple weeks of each other.
While in the mother's lounge, which is actually a classroom with a big window in the door (referenced later), I learned several valuable lessons about what "good" mothers do...well, maybe it's not so much a "good/bad" thing as an "experienced/inexperienced" thing so here goes.
An "experienced" mom:
- brings her baby to church before he's 7 weeks old thus avoiding the numerous greetings accompanied by the word "finally" (e.g. It's nice to FINALLY see you here; So glad you FINALLY decided to join us).
- knows to be early to all of the meetings so she can sit somewhere with immediate access to an exit and not end up sandwiched in between poor, unsuspecting bystanders with the infant carrier wedged half-way under her chair making it very difficult to get her baby out of the carrier when he starts screaming a few minutes into the lesson.
- knows to check the before-you-leave-the-house diaper to make sure it's secured snugly around her baby's legs thus avoiding leakage of the bowel movement occurring in the first ten minutes of church resulting in mustard-colored poop seeping all down his legs and soaking through his onesie and outfit.
- knows to pack a spare outfit in her diaper bag (which I actually did), but also knows that the spare outfit will most likely be NEEDED so she doesn't pack the ugliest, thread-bare, hand-me-down outfit as the spare so her child actually looks presentable after the wardrobe change (which I DIDN'T do).
- notices that there is a large trash can filled with poopy diapers just to the side of the changing station and knows better than to position the wipes container at her baby's feet thus avoiding having her baby kick the wipes container into the trashcan mid-diaper change and having to dig through the trash can to find the container while keeping one hand on her squirming baby to make sure he doesn't roll off the changing station onto the floor, or worse yet, into the trash can himself!
- knows how to nurse discreetly even when sitting in a small room with a large window in the door thereby preventing indecent exposure to every man, woman, and child who happens to walk past the door.
- combs her baby's hair before leaving the house.