Sunday, August 31, 2008

Gems from the E.R.

Tonight is David’s last night on the Emergency Room service. He has gleaned some valuable tidbits in the last month which I include for your reading pleasure.

  • If you ever get in trouble with the law and the cops have a dog with them…don’t try to run away!
  • When confronted by a paranoid schizophrenic who is high on cocaine, keep a safe distance in case he takes a swing at you.
  • If you’re native language is Chinese and you’re learning English, stay away from telling the lady at the gambling hot line, “I want to start life ova” as this can land you in the ER on protective custody under a suicide watch regardless of what was intended by the comment.
  • When conducting a rectal exam, reassure the patient by saying, “Trust me, this ain't fun for me either, buddy!”

My favorite text messages I received from David while in the ER:

  • Great day…just got exposed to lice!!!
  • If I have to look at one more vagina, I’m gonna scream!

Sounds like fun, don’t you think?


Young Family said...

Hmmm... that is why I chose the profession I did.

Camille said...

Wow! That is some funny stuff. I especially loved your advice for a service project...did the neighbors really call the cops on you? Can't wait for you to come visit!

Whitaker Family said...

Oh good to know about the police dog, as i was recently a fugitive and was worried about getting pulled over and them taking Parks to CPS. But I am now in the clear!HEHEHEHEHEHE!

Brittany Wagner said...

Seriously NASTY!!! Poor Dave yuck! EWWWW!!!

Melanie S said...

The joys of being in the health care profession! Hilarious.:)